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Saturday, December 24, 2011

I Married Santa Claus - Sandra's poem 2011

He is not a gardner.
He leaves that space for me,
the most beautiful space on the property.
Instead, he lifts boards, shovels gravel into the right places,
mows the lawn, and plants trees.

He is not a cook.
He allows me the creative work of making our food
just the way I want it.
Instead, he cleans the kitchen after I have littered it with pots, spoons, cutting boards, and vegetable peels
from end to end.

He is not a handyman.
He allows me to hire help to build my projects
with hardly a question about the cost.
Instead, he drives me to my parents’ graves
to place Christmas flowers, to the mall
to search for presents, and to doctors’ appointments
that both of us prefer to avoid.

I said that he had never decorated our house for Christmas.
He disappeared to bring home poinsettas
and a Christmas wreath, which he installed
on the mantle.
Did I say he maintains the car and truck
and arranges vacations?

When I married him twenty-five years ago
I fell into a pot of honey.
Instead of a belly of jelly, my husband has a heart
as large as his enormous spirit.
He is my Santa Claus.

Merry Christmas from your loving wife,
Sandra

Holiday Letter - 2011

In closing out 2011 we celebrate the life we have as a married couple of soon-to-be twenty-five years, amid an ever-expanding circle of family & friends. It can be said 2011 has been the best one yet, our seventh year into retirement, and the first without caregiver duties. Sandra has added to her ‘farmer’ identity by having a greenhouse and toolshed built. She also declared herself a writer, a talent most of us already knew. Nate has cast himself a poet and philosopher, in support for the drifting ways of his spirit.
We moved many pieces of furniture from Sandra’s mother’s house to our house, which upgraded our quarters. We sold and gave away everything else and had the house remodeled. It is now being rented, a big accomplishment.
Although Sandra still misses her mother, we have more freedom to travel and ‘go with the flow.’ Activities have slowed a little and we have more time to connect with each other--and ourselves. We have taken classes in genealogy and photography and gone on day-long local sightseeing trips through Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI). Sandra edits the OLLI newsletter. We enjoy Westminster Presbyterian Church, which has added a music academy to it’s many musical events.
We visited Nate’s old haunts in Los Angeles, where Nate “came of age.” There we attended a spectacular wedding of the daughter of Nate’s close friend during his college and grad school days.
Good friends, Nancy and Ross Stevenson joined us on Georgia’s St. Simon’s Island for a week of relaxation, nature, history and conversation.
Each of us attended our 50th high school reunions, Nate’s in Iowa, and Sandra’s right here in Petal, often struggling to recognized people, as our memories have changed over the years.

On Our 25th Wedding Anniversary 1/1/2012 - poem

Holy cow, 25 years have passed!
We’ve achieved an important mark upon which to take note.
Having weathered the challenges & storms of blending a family,
Amidst managing careers, holding periods of economic uncertainty,
Along with geographic relocation, disease, care giving duties, and deaths,
We hold dear the continued unfolding and recreation of our relationship,
Marked by authentic encounters, allowing safety to fully self-express,
And freedom to discover our individual passions and callings.
Through it all, we just might be role models of possibility to family and friends,
Further complementing the meaning and value of our union.
While twenty five more years fits into the realm of possibility,
Let it be known far and wide, the past twenty five have been the best ever!
Happy anniversary, my dear Sandra, and bring on the rest!


Nathan J. Bender, himself

Friday, December 23, 2011

Merry Christmas 2011 to Sandra - Poem

Marking the 27th Christmas over the years we have known each other,
This one holds a special place, worthy of poetic composition!

During this season of acknowledging joy and thanksgiving,
Clearly, we have much to celebrate, in this our 8th retirement-phase Christmas.

Let’s celebrate the freedom and security resident in our everyday lives,
Allowing new ventures and adventures in support of our individual spirits.

Let’s revel in next generation family expansion, now in full bloom,
Calling forth new challenges and opportunities as parents and grandparents.

Around the corner, another benchmark awaits,
So let’s gather up our travel gear and presents and head to D.C.!

Your devoted Hubby Dear