1. Openness
We can't always agree with each other, nor should we always try to. That doesn't mean everyone
who disagrees with us is wrong, or that we're always right. There's so much to learn from the
ideas and opinions of others when we stay open to listening to them. When we give up the need
to be right, we communicate and listen on a deeper level, with more understanding and
acceptance, and with less judgment and resistance. This is how dialogues move forward and
connections deepen. Also, our openness almost always encourages openness in those with
whom we communicate.
2. Detachment
It really is possible to be passionate about what we're trying to express without being attached to
how it's received. When we are attached to what we're saying, and to the need to be right about it,
we often end up forcing our ideas on others, or distorting our beliefs simply to gain the approval of
others. Detachment gives us the freedom to communicate without the pressure of needing to be
seen as right. Through detachment, we can find peace with however our comments are received
and with whatever direction a conversation takes. Who's right and who's wrong becomes
irrelevant.
3. Humility
The need to be right is rooted deeply in the ego, and one thing our egos are not is humble. Let's
take a breath and swallow our pride when someone says something we believe to be wrong. We
don't have to prove them so. Even more, we need to be willing to be wrong ourselves. It's not
about compromising our truths, but about being humble within the expression of them. It doesn't
matter whether we're right or wrong. What's important is how we handle ourselves in either case.
4. Forgiveness
Though the need to be right enters all areas of our lives, it's especially damaging during conflicts
with those we love. When we believe we've been wronged, we often want to prove to the one
who's hurt or betrayed us just how wrong they are. We want to hurt them back. Instead, the focus
needs to be on forgiveness. It's important to share our feelings and express how we feel hurt, but
not without a commitment to forgiving the action and the person, no matter how wrong we believe
them to be. When the desire to forgive takes precedent, the need to be right dissipates, opening
the door for a more conscious and healthy connection.
5. Kindness
Dr. Wayne Dyer famously wrote, "When given the choice between being right and being kind,
choose kind." We all struggle with the insecurities of our egos, with the insecurity of being wrong.
And a threatened ego will almost always lash out. When we make an effort to prove someone
wrong by establishing ourselves as right, we're being unkind in the process, whether we intend to
be or not. Only the ego cares about the distinctions between right and wrong. The heart simply
loves and accepts whomever is on the other side of the conversation. Let's operate from our
hearts, with kindness.
The next time we feel ourselves pressing to make our point and needing to be right, let's take a
moment to remember that being right is not the goal. It's unimportant. Let's try to integrate some
of the above qualities into our way of speaking, knowing that by doing so we invite a more
conscious and loving exchange with whomever is on the other side of our dialogue.
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