By Nate bender
12/4/2015
“We
must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is
waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
I’ve lived most of my life possessing confidence in my
ability to overcome any adversity, whether from injuries or personal failings
or professional set-backs. In late October,
2015 my confidence became challenged.
Gall bladder surgeries became the setting and material around which this
story is created. May my revelations
find meaning in the lives of the reader.
2015 has been quite a journey into my eighth decade. In February, I under went cochlear implant
surgery, along side cataract surgery complications from a December, 2014
procedure. Over the course of the year,
my physical vigor became notably less, along with my appetite. Soon after returning from our September two-week
excursion to the Black Hills and Iowa, blood lab work revealed my liver enzymes
to be exceedingly high.
The medical system became quickly mobilized, resulting in my
undergoing an endoscopy procedure, conducted locally. Then I under went a follow up enhanced version
at Ochsner Medical Center in New Orleans.
Something unusual was looming, requiring urgency. Shortly thereafter, I under went a three-hour
plus laparoscopic surgery to remove my gall bladder, resulting in complications
and elevating my state of vulnerability.
Never have I experienced such discomfort, making death a welcome
alternative! In my fragile state, I
welcomed anything that would put me to sleep.
The very next morning, October 30, an ‘open surgery’ was
performed to correct what was not corrected the previous day. Dr. Girod reported that my gall bladder was
over due for removal, and should have been excised some 10-15 years ago! Upon waking from anesthesia, it was clear
that a new day had dawned. The dreaded
feeling was replaced with a sleepy calm.
Having weathered my first foray into a near-death emotional experience,
my five-day hospitalization became memorable.
Having ample time for mental drifting, between bouts of sleep, it seemed
like I was reliving my entire life. Long
forgotten memories became vivid.
Insights into periods of joys and sorrows produced a state of
serenity. Interactions with hospital
staff became more personal and mutually caring. My discharge time produced compassionate and
tender farewells.
So what have I gained from this experience? Foremost, becoming vulnerable induces a state
of freedom, a freedom to accept what is in the moment. Earlier demands to be strong and invincible
no longer held priority. Goals and
objectives took secondary positions to the emerging experiences of a new life,
one without a gall bladder!
I would be remiss to not acknowledge the surrounding cast
of supportive friends and family, led by my endearing and enduring wife
Sandra. E-mails, texts and Facebook
postings, along with flowers and visits transmitted healing energy, while
buoying my spirits. Sandra weathered all
four procedures, steadfastly waiting on the sidelines for my awakenings. She also endured the initial span of
uncertainty surrounding cancer being a possible root cause, making her
commitment to my health, well being and longevity ever resident. I am a very fortunate man to live out my life
with such a life partner and circle of family and friends!
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