Growing Into a Diverse World

5/22/2014

by Nate Bender

Since graduating high school, I have lived in two other countries, and in nine different states.  These moves required, more than 30 changes of address.  In the course of this 50+ year span I have experienced a wide variety of diversity involving races, ethnic groups, religious groups, cultures and life-styles.  The range of diversity included Jews, Buddhists, Hindus and Hare Krisnas, Muslims, Catholics, African Americans, Chinese, Thai, Malaysian, Japanese, Hispanics, Koreans and other European country nationalities.  This story aims to capture samplings of my growing into a more diverse world, a world holding new, and at times, challenging adaptations.  I expect the reader will be able to experience the richness held in these notations!

The first eighteen years of my life in rural Iowa, from 1943 to 1961, were pretty much vanilla flavored in that most of the surrounding citizenry were Anglo-Saxon-protestants.  There existed one example of diversity, that being a nearby colony of Amish people complete with their horse and buggy transportation and hook-and-eye clothing.  People of color did have a sparing presence in nearby towns, but were more prominent in the larger cities like Waterloo, Cedar Rapids and Des Moines.  Segregation was nowhere to be noted, as schools were integrated and work opportunities abounded in the industrial companies like John Deer. Slavery did not have a notable history in Iowa as it did in the South.

Religious separation was more the case, where even different sects of the same denomination could create divisions.  The primary discrimination I felt in my family and church was directed toward Catholics.  After all, Martin Luther did roil up against the Catholic Church some centuries prior!  One could encounter at least one African-American family in near-by towns, and the near-by college had samplings of a more diverse population, which didn’t seem to draw anyone’s undue attention. 

I do not recall ever hearing derogatory references to people of color, and never heard the N-word spouted.  During my junior and senior years of high school, our baseball team played games in Waterloo against teams having a goodly number of black players on their rosters.  I remember being enamored by the contrast in racial mix, and the perceived superiority of certain black players’ physical prowess.  In some fashion, I was able to neutralize any advantages with my blazing fastball and sharp breaking curve!

When I started college in 1961 new opportunities to experience a more diverse sampling of people and culture presented itself.  First off, several of my fellow football team members were black, hailing from New Jersey, Kentucky and Chicago.  In setting up my living quarters I met my first roommates, Claude Williams and Joe Potter, racially black from Indianapolis.  I have fond memories of the laughter and bantering that evolved  with Claude and Joe during the course of my first year of college.  A brotherhood was formed based on our mutual ability to connect at a human level.

A few years later, Claude and I reconnected in Los Angeles and have endearing ties to this day, which includes his family and friends.  Because I had no family in California they became my extended family and provided important  support, including lodging for many years.  One of the by-products of my relationship with Claude was his bestowing upon me a nickname….my new name became Odie, derived from a cereal box caricature Big Otis (Odie rang clearer than Otis!).  Among his friends and family Claude’s label for me has stuck for more than 50 years!

Looking back, my first two years of college held more important ties with black students and athletes than with anyone else. Claude, Joe, Purvis, Bob and a few others I forget, came from distant States other than Iowa; they offered expanded views of life outside my own.  In reflection, part of me was rejecting pieces of my heritage and seeking more enriched ways of living, making it natural to be curious and understanding of differences.  

Throughout my remaining college years in Los Angeles black students and teammates became my roommates and closest friends.  The common denominator might have had more to do with socio-economics than racial or cultural differences….we shared resource limitations!  Heck we were all poor, especially in contrast with most of the other students!  During one Thanksgiving break when most of the students went home to their families, I was invited by several black teammates to go with them to an inner-city home in the Watts area for a meal.  It was there I had my first introduction to soul food complete with chitterlings, pig knuckles and feet, black-eyed-peas, and collard greens.  The hosts were originally from Georgia and had the recipes down pat!  They got a big chuckle out of my willingness to eat and even enjoy chitterlings!

Tandy Homes, Gene Lowe, Bill Satterfield, Roland Betts stand out as close friends and teammates, all of whom represented a higher level of emotional connection than any of my other friends.  Playing pickup basketball games in the Los Angeles area during the off-season I was often the lone white person or one of a few.  The competition injected a special edge in strengthening my self-confidence during the regular basketball season. 

Upon graduation from college my work as a probation officer at Central Juvenile Hall provided yet another introduction to diversity.  At least half of the 700 or so ‘inmates’ were composed of Hispanic and Black adolesencts as were the staffing personnel.  In addition, I had my first introduction to the ways of youth gangs, particularly among the Chicano boys.  I had to quickly learn counter measures in quelling inter gang rivalries and the subtle cues attached to their modus operandi.  My training and development as a probation officer was greatly influenced by supervisors, most of whom were men and women of color.  My two-year stint offered a variety of exposures to challenge my skills in relating to young boys of varied backgrounds whose anti-social ways required my learning new leadership tactics.

Of special note was the role and influence Mr. Cabell, head of the Probation Department had on me.  While his presence was far removed from my day-to-day work, I held our contacts as special encounters as his presence and messages were inspiring.  He represented the type of man I would follow almost anywhere.  He was also a man of color.  One other probation department supervisor played an important role.  Bob Garcia and I formed an off-duty relationship which exposed me to East Los Angeles and a dominant Hispanic culture.  I ate my first helping of menudo there!  We also journeyed together to Baha and out-of-the-way places there, where I learned that the young girls were enamored by my presence!

When I was employed as an army company commander in Germany my ability to relate, motivate and lead a variety of men who often felt disenfranchised earned me special acclaim.  In particular, I was able to connect with black soldiers in a way that earned their respect.  Out of this two year junket my professional psychology career emerged.

So what are the take way themes contained in my having encountered and embraced diversity?  I learned that my vanilla flavored background is a minority flavor in a world dominated by chocolate and neapolitan flavors.  These differences span a myriad of qualities and characteristics. My life has been enriched and expanded by the many experiences.  And, I learned the common denominator in bridging these many differences involves person to person contact and sharing without judging.  Polarization becomes less of a result.  In conclusion, I seek to live by Einstein’s quote:

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.” 
― Albert Einstein