by Sandra Bender
Spirit of Nate and me, dream the same dream of preparation for marriage;
Dreaming different dreams of pleasure, mission, freedom, and adventure.
Cancer leads us into health, wisdom, gratitude, love, loss, grief.
Nothing will be taken for granted again. Children, husband, mother,
Food, stomachaches, green leaves waving just above the soil, tension in my body,
All precious, all say I am alive.
Spirits leave with relentless, overpowering change—Hugh, Reuben, Dorothy, John Ed.
My brother I took for granted, as close as my own limb, is no more.
I peer into the spirit world, listening for voices. Sometimes they advise.
Mostly they just enjoy hanging around, Hugh nudging me toward the piano.
Daddy goading me into hoeing and planting in the winter chill
When I’d rather stay warm indoors, delights in being in the garden with me.
Spirits arrive—we welcome Jon’s wife, Emily, aware, creative, complex, lovely,
While baby Cashie awaits an introduction.
Mom left our home to return to hers, restoring her own spirit as her body struggles.
Our togetherness gains strength as we face what’s next.
Spirit Sandra, with grace, skilled doctors, nutrition, exercise, love, and prayers
Triumphs over cancer, toxic drugs, medical ignorance and confusion;
Seeks stability and continuity, shared wisdom and loving people.
Darling Nate, husband of twenty-one years, and closest life companion,
Sweetest and most generous spirit, is eager to break toward the future.
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