Dear God:
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots,
may nots,
might nots that may find
a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all,
Dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind,
my heart and my life all of the 'am nots'
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.
Amen
Author Know To God
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
.....And Those Who Loved Me - Poem in Memorial
When I am gone, release me, let me go ---
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love. You can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
But now it’s time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a while for me if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won’t be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can’t see or touch me, I’ll be near,
And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear
All of my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I’ll greet you with a smile, and “Welcome Home.”
Author Unknown
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears,
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love. You can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness.
I thank you for the love you each have shown,
But now it’s time I traveled on alone.
So grieve a while for me if grieve you must,
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won’t be far away, for life goes on.
So if you need me, call and I will come.
Though you can’t see or touch me, I’ll be near,
And if you listen with your heart, you’ll hear
All of my love around you soft and clear.
And then, when you must come this way alone,
I’ll greet you with a smile, and “Welcome Home.”
Author Unknown
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Cumulative letters to brother Tom, circa 2005 - 2009
Thomas, Thomas, Thomas......Western Civilization is the only culture that is founded on freedom to debate, to challenge, to inquire. To reject this staple of a free and democratic society is to put oneself in danger of buying into charlatans and their performance-based interpretations of "TRUTH." Argument, as you call it, is essential for discovering truth and ones way in the world. Venom is not what I hold, rather a challenging inquiry into purported and often-times distorted views of reality, while extorting innocent, elderly people of their limited incomes. So, if you choose to lead an unchallenged life, I best return to a superficial level of communications with you and yours.
Shocked!? You and every other Evangelical I know eschew argument/debate around the tenets/validity of religious dogma and all. I don't need to spit venom @ Evangelicals, as the fruits of their/your theology and actions too often are spoiling the fabric of sensible, rational dialogue with those who hold a different map of reality. More than any group or philosophy I'm aware of, Evangelicals, much like Islamist extremists, are contaminating the hearts and minds of both young and old, resulting in blind obedience to leaders, including Clerics, who employ authoritative tactics to inhibit full self-expression. Quoting Jesus! Heck, lots of Evangelical people quote Jesus to justify their distorted views of people and life, for many, many years now. When theological slants enter the political forum, as is more and more evident here and elsewhere, the teachings of Jesus are corrupted, as separation of church and state is critical to the survival of human kind, I say!
You don't need to prove the efficacy of the Bible to me! My contention is around those who interpret it as inerrant and with varying slants to suit their personal agendas, to note the Evangelicals. I sense you only read that which supports your own views, and don't venture outside the box, as it were. I suggest, again, you read Karen Armstrong's work(s), particularly the History of God. She's a very erudite and thorough Religious historian/scholar who offers penetrating insight into all of this.
Been trying to read "The Message," the Bible in contemporary language, by Eugene Peterson. So far, it is hard to stay interested, as the story lines often seem so surreal - Adam living to 900+ years of age, as an example. Proverbs and Psalms hold common sense messages with poetic flavors. Hard to take literally, like you Evangelicals do! See it as metaphorical more than literal. After all, it was written by "man-person(s)" attempting to make sense of a turbulent period in history. I'm of the belief that one only accesses the Divine through accessing and exploring one's own internal experience through contemplative inquiry, more than through 'Bible Study.' My whole adult life has been marked by exploring the realms of my personal spiritual, emotional, and cognitive workings, from which a consistent series of revelations keep surfacing. Most of this process is without the framework of religious ritual and drama-based preaching and ordered worship, instead, heightened by authentic interplay with my fellow travelers, not the least of which is my profound relationship with Sandra.
"God always showed mercy when they cried out in earnest!' And, 'am I crying out to Him?' Literally now, what in the heck does that mean and what is your point?! And, 'this book is foolishness to the spiritually dead!' Wow, such abstract and judgmental rhetoric! If the Bible had one interpretation than there would be one denomination, and one brand of christianity. Instead, there are varied interpretations, and thus a demand to have meaning be personalized.
I experience myself spiritually alive and vibrant, as well as receptive to the discovery of the meaning in the mysteries of life, and it isn't because I take the Bible literally as the word of god. The Bible holds stories about an ancient time, frequently used by religious leaders to defame and defile various people, like Blacks, liberals, abortionists, scientists, secular thought and homosexuals. Evangelicals, ostensibly following the word of god, are in the forefront of these discriminatory utterances and behaviors. End-times predictions have existed for thousands of years, as dictated by interpretations of the bible, only to be adjusted for whatever reason.
People on my mailing list have the potential power to make a difference in changing the course of our political ways, via letters to elected leaders, letters to the editor, and simply taking a stand against what Evangelical christians have made happen via their caustic voice against everything and anything that is secular/different from their belief system. If you understand group dynamics and critical mass theories, I would think you would appreciate that shifting the human spirit has a profound effect on changing conditions. It isn't about righteous man, rather, about the pursuit of personal and political integrity.
This 'by grace are we saved' has little or no effect on how I live my life. The truth, meaning honesty, shall set you free, and the truth gets so distorted by the ways of politics and tele-evangelists, who apply scare tactics and sales jobs to garner money and support.
Also, you and your fellow religious followers often fail to respect that we humans are created differently, holding varying types of genetic, biological, psychological and spiritual orientations. Espousing one way/only way is a condemnation of our creator, I say.
May your perceptual field become broadened. Nate
Shocked!? You and every other Evangelical I know eschew argument/debate around the tenets/validity of religious dogma and all. I don't need to spit venom @ Evangelicals, as the fruits of their/your theology and actions too often are spoiling the fabric of sensible, rational dialogue with those who hold a different map of reality. More than any group or philosophy I'm aware of, Evangelicals, much like Islamist extremists, are contaminating the hearts and minds of both young and old, resulting in blind obedience to leaders, including Clerics, who employ authoritative tactics to inhibit full self-expression. Quoting Jesus! Heck, lots of Evangelical people quote Jesus to justify their distorted views of people and life, for many, many years now. When theological slants enter the political forum, as is more and more evident here and elsewhere, the teachings of Jesus are corrupted, as separation of church and state is critical to the survival of human kind, I say!
You don't need to prove the efficacy of the Bible to me! My contention is around those who interpret it as inerrant and with varying slants to suit their personal agendas, to note the Evangelicals. I sense you only read that which supports your own views, and don't venture outside the box, as it were. I suggest, again, you read Karen Armstrong's work(s), particularly the History of God. She's a very erudite and thorough Religious historian/scholar who offers penetrating insight into all of this.
Been trying to read "The Message," the Bible in contemporary language, by Eugene Peterson. So far, it is hard to stay interested, as the story lines often seem so surreal - Adam living to 900+ years of age, as an example. Proverbs and Psalms hold common sense messages with poetic flavors. Hard to take literally, like you Evangelicals do! See it as metaphorical more than literal. After all, it was written by "man-person(s)" attempting to make sense of a turbulent period in history. I'm of the belief that one only accesses the Divine through accessing and exploring one's own internal experience through contemplative inquiry, more than through 'Bible Study.' My whole adult life has been marked by exploring the realms of my personal spiritual, emotional, and cognitive workings, from which a consistent series of revelations keep surfacing. Most of this process is without the framework of religious ritual and drama-based preaching and ordered worship, instead, heightened by authentic interplay with my fellow travelers, not the least of which is my profound relationship with Sandra.
"God always showed mercy when they cried out in earnest!' And, 'am I crying out to Him?' Literally now, what in the heck does that mean and what is your point?! And, 'this book is foolishness to the spiritually dead!' Wow, such abstract and judgmental rhetoric! If the Bible had one interpretation than there would be one denomination, and one brand of christianity. Instead, there are varied interpretations, and thus a demand to have meaning be personalized.
I experience myself spiritually alive and vibrant, as well as receptive to the discovery of the meaning in the mysteries of life, and it isn't because I take the Bible literally as the word of god. The Bible holds stories about an ancient time, frequently used by religious leaders to defame and defile various people, like Blacks, liberals, abortionists, scientists, secular thought and homosexuals. Evangelicals, ostensibly following the word of god, are in the forefront of these discriminatory utterances and behaviors. End-times predictions have existed for thousands of years, as dictated by interpretations of the bible, only to be adjusted for whatever reason.
People on my mailing list have the potential power to make a difference in changing the course of our political ways, via letters to elected leaders, letters to the editor, and simply taking a stand against what Evangelical christians have made happen via their caustic voice against everything and anything that is secular/different from their belief system. If you understand group dynamics and critical mass theories, I would think you would appreciate that shifting the human spirit has a profound effect on changing conditions. It isn't about righteous man, rather, about the pursuit of personal and political integrity.
This 'by grace are we saved' has little or no effect on how I live my life. The truth, meaning honesty, shall set you free, and the truth gets so distorted by the ways of politics and tele-evangelists, who apply scare tactics and sales jobs to garner money and support.
Also, you and your fellow religious followers often fail to respect that we humans are created differently, holding varying types of genetic, biological, psychological and spiritual orientations. Espousing one way/only way is a condemnation of our creator, I say.
May your perceptual field become broadened. Nate
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Poetry is..........
Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air. Poetry is a search for
syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script
telling how rainbows are made and why they go away. ~ Carl Sandburg
syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script
telling how rainbows are made and why they go away. ~ Carl Sandburg
Monday, October 18, 2010
Happy 66th Birthday, Sandra
Here it is again, Sandy-B!
Another b-day notch in your life extension,
Another time to acknowledge your blessings & bounties,
Another time to vision your evolving future.
Note the new adventure to New Orleans, via Amtrak no less!
Note the offerings of Autumn, and opportunities therein,
Note the sights and sounds of Nature,
Note the health and well-being you manifest.
Know that I cherish the relationship we have formed,
Know that I’m a better man as a result,
Know that our blended, expanding family is blessed by your presence,
Know that the world is better for having you in it.
Here’s to another year of our shared existence!
Lovingly appreciative, your Hubby-Dear
Another b-day notch in your life extension,
Another time to acknowledge your blessings & bounties,
Another time to vision your evolving future.
Note the new adventure to New Orleans, via Amtrak no less!
Note the offerings of Autumn, and opportunities therein,
Note the sights and sounds of Nature,
Note the health and well-being you manifest.
Know that I cherish the relationship we have formed,
Know that I’m a better man as a result,
Know that our blended, expanding family is blessed by your presence,
Know that the world is better for having you in it.
Here’s to another year of our shared existence!
Lovingly appreciative, your Hubby-Dear
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
NATE IS THE PAPA - Poem
Nate is the papa
As he lays his baby grandsons Sachin and August on his chest
They fall asleep together
And he pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he loads the van with camping equipment
Tows Samantha’s canoe and throws balls to Max
He pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he kicks around his philosophy about jobs, trips, food, and finance,
He discusses deeper urges with his sons Jon, Dylan, and Sunil,
And he pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he explores how to deal with children, family, food, and relationships,
He shares his wisdom with his daughters Ariana, Heidi, and Emily,
And he pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he erects fences, digs holes, runs tillers, mows lawns,
And hangs out in doctors’ waiting rooms instead of sailing toward Tahiti,
Alas, he cannot pretend. I know he is in love with me.
By Sandra Bender
June 20, 2009
As he lays his baby grandsons Sachin and August on his chest
They fall asleep together
And he pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he loads the van with camping equipment
Tows Samantha’s canoe and throws balls to Max
He pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he kicks around his philosophy about jobs, trips, food, and finance,
He discusses deeper urges with his sons Jon, Dylan, and Sunil,
And he pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he explores how to deal with children, family, food, and relationships,
He shares his wisdom with his daughters Ariana, Heidi, and Emily,
And he pretends not to be in love with them.
Nate is the papa
As he erects fences, digs holes, runs tillers, mows lawns,
And hangs out in doctors’ waiting rooms instead of sailing toward Tahiti,
Alas, he cannot pretend. I know he is in love with me.
By Sandra Bender
June 20, 2009
Twenty-two Years with Nate - Poem
Twenty-two Years with Nate
It started on a lark, his search for a buddy,
My what-the-hell, why not. Nothing to lose
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
We met, talked. I knew he was for me.
He didn’t.
Group meetings, dance outings, and then…
The kiss. He knew.
The tests came. Could we trust the connection
To hold?
Evenings with children, camping, sailing lessons,
Dancing classes and Starting Anew.
Nancy and Ross.
We knit two lives into one relationship.
Four lives into one family.
Marriage—a chance to heal wounds and trust.
Learn the art of empowerment, type differences,
Styles of housekeeping, meals to prepare.
We survived our children’s teen years.
Did better than that. Launched three
Competent, loving adults.
New families to celebrate.
Careers completed, faces turned south.
Thoughts of retirement brought overflowing joy.
We uprooted thread by thread, piece by piece.
We brought treasures and memories into
The wet, warm womb of Mississippi.
We did not know the birth of our retired years
Would be so difficult.
We cast away lines to dear ones—father, brothers, cousins.
We nurtured family as it reconfigured.
The young generation emerged. New babies,
New roles.
Cancer wrought another transformation.
My cancer, Nate’s care for me. We learned
Together we are empowered, even facing death.
The wisdom of our bodies led us
To spirits free of bodies.
Through Nate’s care, I am loved.
No longer a rock
He needs the same from me.
These twenty-two years with Nate
Have been a blessing.
Your loving wife,
Sandy B
It started on a lark, his search for a buddy,
My what-the-hell, why not. Nothing to lose
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
We met, talked. I knew he was for me.
He didn’t.
Group meetings, dance outings, and then…
The kiss. He knew.
The tests came. Could we trust the connection
To hold?
Evenings with children, camping, sailing lessons,
Dancing classes and Starting Anew.
Nancy and Ross.
We knit two lives into one relationship.
Four lives into one family.
Marriage—a chance to heal wounds and trust.
Learn the art of empowerment, type differences,
Styles of housekeeping, meals to prepare.
We survived our children’s teen years.
Did better than that. Launched three
Competent, loving adults.
New families to celebrate.
Careers completed, faces turned south.
Thoughts of retirement brought overflowing joy.
We uprooted thread by thread, piece by piece.
We brought treasures and memories into
The wet, warm womb of Mississippi.
We did not know the birth of our retired years
Would be so difficult.
We cast away lines to dear ones—father, brothers, cousins.
We nurtured family as it reconfigured.
The young generation emerged. New babies,
New roles.
Cancer wrought another transformation.
My cancer, Nate’s care for me. We learned
Together we are empowered, even facing death.
The wisdom of our bodies led us
To spirits free of bodies.
Through Nate’s care, I am loved.
No longer a rock
He needs the same from me.
These twenty-two years with Nate
Have been a blessing.
Your loving wife,
Sandy B
Spirit of 2007 - Poem
by Sandra Bender
Spirit of Nate and me, dream the same dream of preparation for marriage;
Dreaming different dreams of pleasure, mission, freedom, and adventure.
Cancer leads us into health, wisdom, gratitude, love, loss, grief.
Nothing will be taken for granted again. Children, husband, mother,
Food, stomachaches, green leaves waving just above the soil, tension in my body,
All precious, all say I am alive.
Spirits leave with relentless, overpowering change—Hugh, Reuben, Dorothy, John Ed.
My brother I took for granted, as close as my own limb, is no more.
I peer into the spirit world, listening for voices. Sometimes they advise.
Mostly they just enjoy hanging around, Hugh nudging me toward the piano.
Daddy goading me into hoeing and planting in the winter chill
When I’d rather stay warm indoors, delights in being in the garden with me.
Spirits arrive—we welcome Jon’s wife, Emily, aware, creative, complex, lovely,
While baby Cashie awaits an introduction.
Mom left our home to return to hers, restoring her own spirit as her body struggles.
Our togetherness gains strength as we face what’s next.
Spirit Sandra, with grace, skilled doctors, nutrition, exercise, love, and prayers
Triumphs over cancer, toxic drugs, medical ignorance and confusion;
Seeks stability and continuity, shared wisdom and loving people.
Darling Nate, husband of twenty-one years, and closest life companion,
Sweetest and most generous spirit, is eager to break toward the future.
Spirit of Nate and me, dream the same dream of preparation for marriage;
Dreaming different dreams of pleasure, mission, freedom, and adventure.
Cancer leads us into health, wisdom, gratitude, love, loss, grief.
Nothing will be taken for granted again. Children, husband, mother,
Food, stomachaches, green leaves waving just above the soil, tension in my body,
All precious, all say I am alive.
Spirits leave with relentless, overpowering change—Hugh, Reuben, Dorothy, John Ed.
My brother I took for granted, as close as my own limb, is no more.
I peer into the spirit world, listening for voices. Sometimes they advise.
Mostly they just enjoy hanging around, Hugh nudging me toward the piano.
Daddy goading me into hoeing and planting in the winter chill
When I’d rather stay warm indoors, delights in being in the garden with me.
Spirits arrive—we welcome Jon’s wife, Emily, aware, creative, complex, lovely,
While baby Cashie awaits an introduction.
Mom left our home to return to hers, restoring her own spirit as her body struggles.
Our togetherness gains strength as we face what’s next.
Spirit Sandra, with grace, skilled doctors, nutrition, exercise, love, and prayers
Triumphs over cancer, toxic drugs, medical ignorance and confusion;
Seeks stability and continuity, shared wisdom and loving people.
Darling Nate, husband of twenty-one years, and closest life companion,
Sweetest and most generous spirit, is eager to break toward the future.
Nate the Seeker - Poem
On Nate’s Sixty-Third Birthday
Can I help you, Little Girl?
Always ready to be of service.
A hand, a glass of water, a chair,
Hash-brown potatoes ready upon request.
Yet his soul is ever moving
Fed by a computer networked to all ideas
Left, right, red and blue
He comforts and cajoles his friends.
His clipboard always ready to receive
A poem, a memory, a story,
His books lie idle as he drifts
To another idea about religion or injustice.
His chest exposed to the golden Mississippi rays,
Plodding behind mower or pool brush,
His vision is beyond the curve, over the hill
Imagining unknown people and adventures.
Where are you going? Take me along
Your bike, your boat, your green machine.
Tell me a story I’ve heard a hundred times
Sing me a song, again.
I love you, Sandra
Can I help you, Little Girl?
Always ready to be of service.
A hand, a glass of water, a chair,
Hash-brown potatoes ready upon request.
Yet his soul is ever moving
Fed by a computer networked to all ideas
Left, right, red and blue
He comforts and cajoles his friends.
His clipboard always ready to receive
A poem, a memory, a story,
His books lie idle as he drifts
To another idea about religion or injustice.
His chest exposed to the golden Mississippi rays,
Plodding behind mower or pool brush,
His vision is beyond the curve, over the hill
Imagining unknown people and adventures.
Where are you going? Take me along
Your bike, your boat, your green machine.
Tell me a story I’ve heard a hundred times
Sing me a song, again.
I love you, Sandra
My Husband Isn't Old Yet - Poem
My husband isn’t old yet,
Although his years betray him.
He rides his mower to maintain a tan
To contrast with his baby blue eyes.
He lifts weights, digs post holes and follows an untamed tiller
So that his biceps ripple.
His quads hold his mighty frame without challenge.
He’s a man’s man.
He can hear the tiniest whisper
With his bionic ears.
No holding him back from adventures and missions
As he seeks his path.
My husband isn’t old yet but I am grateful for his years.
He strokes and soothes me with tenderness
Born of maturity and experience.
I’m his lady.
I love you oodles and wish you many birthdays before you are old.
Sandra (7/15/09)
Although his years betray him.
He rides his mower to maintain a tan
To contrast with his baby blue eyes.
He lifts weights, digs post holes and follows an untamed tiller
So that his biceps ripple.
His quads hold his mighty frame without challenge.
He’s a man’s man.
He can hear the tiniest whisper
With his bionic ears.
No holding him back from adventures and missions
As he seeks his path.
My husband isn’t old yet but I am grateful for his years.
He strokes and soothes me with tenderness
Born of maturity and experience.
I’m his lady.
I love you oodles and wish you many birthdays before you are old.
Sandra (7/15/09)
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