Dayenu

Dayenu

by Nate Bender

7/10/2014

Dayenu is a song often sung after Jewish Passover Seders.  Its meaning in abbreviated form is ‘sufficient.’  Moses is said to have uttered the word upon receipt of the Ten Commandments.  This short story is about a sailboat that was christened Dayenu. 

Sandra and I co-owned this 27-foot O’Day boat for ten years with our Cleveland Heights, Ohio neighbors Bob and Judy Charlick.  For multiple reasons, declaring our boat to be sufficient held importance in an environment that often dictated more, bigger, better mind sets.  Bob’s Jewish background offered additional meaning.

Sandra and I married on January 1, 1987.  My life was unfolding in new and unimaginable ways, including the blending of two family units into one.  The annual Cleveland Boat Show was held two months later, during one of the dreariest months of the year.  With partnership images ringing in the air, the Charlicks and Benders made plans to attend what would be my first boat show experience.  If you have never attended a boat show, know that they offer alluring exposures to the many choices of boats on display, I can attest! 

All four of our boating team zeroed in on an O’Day model with its reputed history of solid workmanship for modest income buyers.   A deal was made on the spot with the sales agent, leaving us with the mission of financing it.  In addition, we later drew up a legal partnership contract clarifying conditions for ownership and termination of partnership.  When the time came for withdrawing from our ownership, the process was greatly enhanced by having a fore-drawn agreement. 

In late Spring, our new boat was commissioned and moored at a newly configured marina in nearby Lorain.  New levels of excitement over entering a totally new realm of adventure became an energy booster for all of us.  We quickly developed a schedule for sharing maintenance and usage matters.  Since we shared well-developed communications skills and values around open, candid exchanges, this process went relatively well.

There is something special about launching one’s first sailing experience, especially when the learning curve is steep.  Fortunately, Sandra and the Charlicks were seasoned in sailing matters.  At one point during our maiden voyage I released a visceral yell in capturing the joy I was experiencing!  Setting a sailing course with the sails sheeted for optimum push-pull of the wind lends to a feeling of being one with the boat and the seas.  The splashing sounds of the boat cutting through the water filled my senses.  Smells emanating from the Great Lakes water represented connections to marine life within.  The gentle rolling action created a slower body rhythm, while releasing the cares of every day living.  Sailing became a spiritual awakening for me!

Every year of the ten we owned the boat each partner couple had ownership for a whole week, free to navigate to wherever the spirit called.  Often Sandra and I sailed alone.  We liked to sail across Lake Erie to Canada.  Other times we sailed to one of the Lake Erie islands or another Ohio shoreline city.  Every journey held eventful moments, as well as creative endeavors.  

Four moments, over the course of the ten-year period stand out for me.  When the winds were just right, not too strong and not too light, the sea surface less choppy in the middle of Lake Erie with no one or land in sight something magical happens!  I was able to form a feeling of transcendence….a feeling of being one with the Divine source of life.  Often, I found myself sailing in the buff, which seemed to be a natural extension of my union with something greater than I.  I felt a full-body state of heightened arousal!

In another adventure, navigating in less than ideal weather in a storm called forth a heightened level of awareness to remain safe and purposeful.  No amount of preparation can suffice in making on-the-run decisions regarding setting of the sails and course of the sail.  Exhausting it can be, making landfall became a blessed relief.  This happened on two occasions, and each while Sandra steered the boat, I became responsible for setting the sails.  The coordinated process required our making adjustments without having a clear-cut road map.  Our intuitive powers had to be accessed.  In the end, I felt like we had attained special status worthy of recounting the drama to anyone willing to be entertained!

On one occasion we cruised for a week with our three kids plus one friend--this on a boat designed for sleeping four.  Trip preparation required a goodly amount of planning, especially around food supplies and meals, a function Sandra engineered with precision and culinary excellence.  Most of our meals were prepared on board, thanks to having a small kitchen layout on the boat.  On the final day of the trip, I decided to conduct a solo launch of the boat from a marina slip we had stayed for the night.  Early, right after sunrise and before anyone was awake, I quietly released the mooring lines and shoved the boat back while unfurling the headsail to catch the light breeze for forward movement.  An exquisitely conducted undertaking it was!  Shortly after being underway, the crew wakened to the rhythm of a motor-less launch back to our homeport!  Again, I defied the skeptics and did what I have never done before!

Lastly, our weeklong cruises triggered the revelation of creative thinking, from which Sandra and I were able to enrich our professional practices.  We generated new designs for the shared work we were doing in leading marriage enrichment classes and retreats.  In addition, there was a crossover benefit to the Starting Anew support group I was leading, which also involved creating periodic weekend retreats.  And my organization development practice evolved into being the most rewarding period of my life.  Never had I ever experienced such a ground swell of creative energy and end results!

Our sailing experiences on Dayenu led to a collaborative East Caribbean sailing adventure with another couple and the Charlicks.  That experience added fuel to my fantasy world, including dreams of living aboard a large boat and sailing around the world.  Did I say my dream world knows no limits?

A final report on Dayenu finds her in another harbor with a new captain, still viable and entering the autumn years of her life!