My 1st Game Changer

My 1^st Game Changer

by Nate Bender

4/24/2014

In the course of one’s life special people and specific events evoke life-changing effects.  I refer to these people as game changers while recognizing their personal qualities and the surrounding events attached to them. This story seeks to acknowledge one such game changer and the setting connected to the changes. The setting for this story is Germany, where I served two years as an Army Corps of Engineers officer during the 1970 to 1972 time frame

Lieutenant Colonel Donald Morelli was my battalion commander during most of my two-year stint of military service in Germany.  Colonel Morelli was a West Point graduate, though lacking the physical bearing of the stereotype ‘ring knocker,’ a term applied by non-West Pointers.  Ordinary in virtually every way – diminutive, maybe 5’ 8” and slight of build, maybe 140 pounds in weight, he didn’t project anything special. 

What Colonel Morelli possessed was character that was immediately detectable upon meeting him.  Authenticity and integrity were wrapped around his low-key manner.  Pursuit of military mission and adherence to professional standards resonated in his dealings with superiors, peers and subordinates alike.  Pretense was not his bent.  As a leader he invested inordinate time and energy in creating unit effectiveness, often initiating uniquely bold and direct acts as an agent of change, whether it be in correcting enlisted personnel’s inappropriate dress and grooming or authorizing assertive interventions to corral the prevalent drug use and trafficking problem within the ranks of the battalion, his leadership was experienced throughout the organization.

Colonel Morelli’s influence on me was both striking and unexpected.  His mark involved seeing me as someone I didn’t know, someone who was more than a combat-avoidant soldier doing his time before returning to civilian life and the probation officer job I had left.  He saw me as a leader who could make a difference in the lives of soldiers within his battalion.  He thrust me into the position of a West Point captain, though I was a junior first lieutenant without career aspirations. This unplanned, and in some sense unwanted, promotion had a profound effect on shaping my evolving identity, in both personal and professional realms.  Being responsible for the lives and doings of 250 soldiers required an upgrade of my self-perception as a leader, one from whom others sought guidance.  The ultimate by-product of this upgrade was the revealing of my life-long calling - that of applying my natural inclinations to engage, inspire and help others. 

Two years as a commander created an inordinate number of challenges in my dealing with the demands of military order, in the face of much underachievement within the rank and file.  Leadership interventions were called forth in two important areas:  One, in creating a safe law-abiding environment in the living quarters, and eradicating the use and sale of drugs;  two, racial tensions within the company as well as in the local German community required bold and assertive actions in gaining trust and understanding among all concerned parties.  These were not the best of times for army personnel, as most were drafted for the Viet Nam war.  Patriotism and the merits of military service were in constant question in my dealing with these ever-present personnel challenges. I became increasingly aware that my personality, my character, held more importance than my status and stature in addressing both the positive and negative issues. 

On one extreme, I disciplined the wrong-doers via administrative consequences which often led to less than honorable discharges.  To a few others, judicial punishments via court marshals were meted out.  On the other extreme, I sought to engage the trouble makers on an informal and personal basis, encouraging them to do the right thing.  One initiative that stood out for me was organizing a basketball team to compete in a Post-wide league.  As it turned out, I was the only white-guy on a team dominated by people of color!  And we won the league championship!  This undertaking resulted in my forming a reputation for having a special rapport among the black soldiers throughout the battalion.

Along the way I even received feedback that I was exceptional as a leader and held potential for being a career soldier, including having  ‘general officer qualities!’ 

During the last months of my command duties, I became energized and supported by an even more compelling vision, that of becoming a psychologist.  This vision became a totally new and unexpected revelation, requiring new hurdles and challenges.  A big-time game-changing undertaking it was, as it required abandoning the encouragement I was receiving to remain in the Army for a career and venture into the uncertain requirements for becoming a psychologist.

The successful experiences I had as a military leader brought forth confidence in my leaving the security of the Army to become a graduate psychology student with less than a stellar academic history.  I was emboldened by the qualities of colonel Morelli, my game changer mentor. Speaking and acting with honestly and integrity has served me well, with a few upsets along the road!

An aside to this story involves colonel Morelli submitting a strongly worded supporting letter of recommendation in my application for an Army graduate school scholarship, which further advanced the game changing undertaking!