My Germany Elder Quest

By Nate Bender

10/2014

Since I’m now an elder, I’m also declaring our recent journey to Germany an elder quest.  This trip sought to connect me with the origins of my Bender lineage, contained in a recorded history dating back to the 1700’s in the Hessen region villages of Rodheim-Biebertal, Germany. 

I am finding new meaning in uncovering missing pieces of my family history, currently those of my paternal grandfather (Opa), Ludwig (Louis) Bender.  Opa died three years before my birth, leaving only sketchy references of his life via my father.  While I’ve seen pictures of him and heard a few stories about the man, I still felt a need to ‘walk the ground’ upon which he was born and raised.  This short story captures the unfolding of this quest, highlighted by my recent visit to Germany, accompanied by my wife Sandra.

On September 29, 2014 Sandra and I arrived in Rodheim-Biebertal, Germany, about an hour drive north of Frankfurt, to launch a three-day exploration into the area from which Opa Bender immigrated in 1884.  Holding expectations to merely experience the area, I also hoped to possibly meet a distant relative as well.

Our pre-trip planning efforts included multiple email exchanges between our host(s), allowing them to research historical documents before we arrived.  The rewards were unimagined and enduring.  We contacted an English-speaking friend in Wurzburg, Hans Jorge Suss, whose efforts linked us to Sigurd Bremer, a retired teacher who had also taught English.  Sigurd became the coordinator, organizer and interpreter of our traversing of the hallowed ground upon which Opa once trod. All we had to do was show up and be guided!  

Herr (Mr.) Bremer, who preferred being referred to as Sigurd, coordinated our visit with orderly elegance.  He introduced us to Helmut Failing, a 75-year-old historian who oversees the documents contained in the village archives, and a well maintained small museum.  In the museum we saw clothing worn in daily life and for celebrations, items for cooking, weaving fabric, sewing and cultivating.  Villager stories were also on the walls.

Sigurd also introduced us to Ekkehardt (Ekki) Low, another English-speaking retired teacher who led us on a half-day excursion of the area’s ancient history.  We climbed a high hill to see a lookout tower and the old town protected by a wall. After a rigorous walk we had a nice lunch in a Greek restaurant. 

Furthermore, we were introduced to the Burger Meister (mayor), Thomas Bender, an unrelated relative, yet who held the same name as my younger brother.  He gave us an explanation of the origin of the Bender name---people who bent and attached the metal straps around wooden barrels were called BENDERS!  How about that?  So much for emanating from royalty!

Lastly, Sigurd introduced us to the only identified relative in the area, a cousin Gerhardt Platt, with whom I shared the same great grandfather.  He spoke no English, yet we shared a wonderfully festive dinner along with Helmut and Sigurd.  People even reported seeing similarities in our profiles.

We took note of the original Bender home in the middle of Rodheim.  We toured the ancient, historical church in which my ancestors likely worshipped with a baptismal font that captured my attention.  Adjoining the church was a manicured cemetery which held elements of similarity to the cemetery where Opa was buried in Iowa.  It was interesting for me to learn that graves are dug up after thirty years to make room for other burials, with the remains being cremated.

Several aspects of German life and its people held importance to me.  Their physical robustness derived from regular walking and hiking, often up inclines which challenged my stamina.  We hiked a good three miles up the Dunsburg hill to a beer-garden at the top, fully tapping my endurance.  We noticed an absence of littering, with nary a cigarette butt being in evidence.  Eating, especially around the evening meal, could easily become a three hour festival involving drinking of beer or wine, a hearty meal and dessert, with a goodly amount of conversation and laughter.

I can now report with pride that I have evolved from German ancestry.  My maternal grand parents immigrated from Germany in the late 1800’s as did my paternal grandfather.  My paternal grandmother was born in America, shortly after arriving with her parents.  German blood flows throughout my genetic code and in my psyche! 

Additionally, I was raised in a predominately German rural Iowa community.  German church services, Lutheran to be sure, preceded the English versions during my early youth.  My parents often spoke German to each other when they didn’t want my brothers and me to know what they were saying.

Despite my being raised with little pride in my German heritage, I can now declare I have a deeply felt pride and respect for  my German connections.  This newly formed attachment is anchored in the friendships that were formed with Sigurd, Helmut, Ekkehardt, Gerhardt and Hans Jorg and Claudia Suss in Wurzburg.  I am deeply grateful for their contributions to making this quest a life enhancing experience.