My 'Criminal' History

My ‘Criminal’ History

by Nate Bender

5/1/2015

At the risk of losing whatever credibility I might have accrued, I have a need to clear the air regarding my historical encounters with unlawful behavior.  Rest assured, save for an occasional speeding ticket, I have pretty much lived a lawful life for the past fifty years!

My two brothers and I had inordinate freedom to come and go wherever we pleased in our small-town enclave in Iowa.  Adult supervision was rarely needed.  Our little village had three small grocery stores and a gas station, all of which sold tobacco products.  Two of the facilities became targets for my thievery, initially of cigarettes, and occasionally of candy and gum. 

My first memory of violating the rules of a lawful civil society centered around my pre-teen years.  I became enamored with smoking cigarettes and an occasional cigar, something most real men modeled, thus seeming to legitimize the behavior.  This affliction carried with me until my fortieth year of life, when I removed all tobacco products from my life.

Since success often breeds confidence, I stretched the limits of prudent thievery behavior and was unknowingly caught in the act when accompanying my father to one of the stores.  I assumed the merchant would be preoccupied dealing with my father, which further heightened the prospect of seizing a big haul of candy, gum and cigarettes.  I felt a sense of exhilaration upon completing my theft mission!  On the way home, nothing was said by my father even though the merchant had obviously informed him of my doings.  Upon reaching home, my only memory was being grabbed by my father and beat about my posterior with his very large hand.  If something was said during the whipping, it escapes my recall.

The residuals from this whipping created deep feelings of humiliation and resentment, resulting in my avoiding my father for a considerable period of time, including not eating at the dinner table with him being present.  And, my two brothers were relentless in their teasing, repeatedly referring to me as a thief.  In retrospect, all I needed was a firm, but compassionate conversation around the error of my ways, and maybe an order to repay the merchant for the cost of my thefts. 

Another residual involved my making a private, viscerally-felt resolution that nobody would ever be allowed to touch my body in anger, including my father, without my defending myself with a vengeance.

Later, when in my early 20’s while in college at Pepperdine, I collected two parking tickets in the South Central Los Angeles area.  Having ignored the fines it was about a year later when I was nearing graduation that the iron fist of the law made its presence.  I was arrested!  Arrested on an early Sunday morning in the school cafeteria by two uniformed police officers, in front of my fellow students.  Without being handcuffed, I was driven to the police precinct, finger-printed and secured in a jail cell.  In order to be released, I needed to pay $25 for bail, an amount I did not have.  I was given two phone calls to procure assistance, and was able to contact a Kuwaiti student who willingly came to bail me out and return me to campus.  My return to campus resulted in being the subject of many inquiries!

Another anecdote I need to report:  One summer in Los Angeles while living on my own I found myself without any money, and very hungry.  What did I do?  I went to the local grocery store and stole some food, including a steak!  For years I lived with guilt for having ‘sinned’ yet again, and found the courage to return to the store and pay for my wrong-doing, and included an additional amount as part of my penance.  My life has since been free of ‘criminal’ acts, as I’ve sought saint-hood along the way!

My final confession involves a form of forgery, the exact details of which remain a bit obscured by the passing of time.  Anyway, while still in college I found myself ‘conned’ into being part of a scam around travelers checks.  My so-called cohort contributed $1000 to the purchase of the checks.  A subsequent claim for stolen checks resulted in receipt of another $1000 while the originals were cashed.  My take in the whole scenario was a mere $25!   The whole experience left an unsettling after effect, regretful that I had actually participated in such an act. 

The final message I’d like to convey, apart from ‘crime doesn’t pay,’ living a life of absolute integrity is a worthy endeavor.