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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Alternatives to Physical Discipline


Discipline means getting a particular task done and providing a “teaching” experience that will guide a child. It is most effective and lasting when you point your child in the direction you want, instead of towards what will happen if s/he doesn’t complete it.

When you point your child in the right direction, you’re laying the foundation for later on. You’re building a bridge together. The most common forms of discipline are:

1. Set Limits

Set specific times and places for tasks or homework.

Limit interruptions from TV, phones and friends during these times.

Limit the choices available for toys.

2. Pay Attention

Pay attention when children do what you want by noticing and paying

specific compliments like, “I like the way you put your toys away in the box

on the shelf. You’re really neat.”

Reward children with notes, talks, and even treats.

3. Ignore

Avoid paying time and attention to bad behavior.

Walk away from arguments, obnoxious language and whining.

4. Use Time Outs

Use time outs to give children time to get back in control and figure out

what they are to do and how they should behave.

Make the time outs between five minutes to one hour depending on the

level of upset and need to calm down (for the parent, too!).

5. Have Consequences

Connect consequences to the task or job to be done or the desired behavior.

If a car is misused, limit use of the car.

If the phone is misused, limit its use.

If a chore is left for you to do, assign other chores that will help make up

the time you spent. Cleaning up someone else’s mess could mean that

person cleans several rooms or several times.

6. Plan Rewards

Rewards are a consequence.

Your time and attention are the best rewards.

7. Limit Choices

Offer children a choice among a limited number of options.

“You can go out either Friday night or Saturday nights.”

“You can either read or play quietly in your room.”

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