Compassion for Others

Compassion for others

Compassion for another is a gift of connectedness you give yourself and a gift of presence you give another. Compassion is a way of being, difficult to define. You will sense the definition of compassion among the concepts presented in this week's article.

Compassion involves seeing another as self:

No matter how different a person is or how different his or her circumstances are from yours, both of you want essentially the same things from life. Both of you want happiness, satisfaction and love. Both of you want connectedness, safety and understanding.

When you are struggling to feel compassion for another, struggling to put yourself in the other's shoes, struggling to understand what the other is going through, remember this similarity. When you have not experienced what the other is experiencing, remember that everyone ultimately wants what you want.

Compassion does not involve self sacrifice or martyrdom at your expense:

When in a disagreement with anyone, be they your partner or your boss, remember to see the other as self. At the same time, be careful not to mistake compassion for being a pushover. Don't justify another's behavior at the cost of your feelings or discount your feelings.

Being compassionate in the context of disagreement means being understanding, supportive and kind, while respecting and setting your boundaries. You must be present to both simultaneously in order to both take care of yourself and the other.

Compassion gives you a sense of connectedness

Having compassion means opening your heart to others. It also means residing in your heart when interacting with others. This can be the most challenging specifically when compassion is most needed. But it is well worth the effort.

The other person gets to experience being heard and cared for when these are most needed. You get to connect with another person in a meaningful way and feel more alive and loved.